One mother of a craving

I can't focus.
But I'm not shaking.
Yet.
And I'm sure as hell not thinking.
I can almost smell it.
That sweet sweeeeeet taste of tar and nitric acid lightly tossed in a cauldrum and glued onto my lungs.
Ahhhh.
Why do i taunt myself so.

Then the tea lady shows up with strong filter coffee.
Sans milk, sans sugar, sans nothing.
Just me, a black-ass coffee and one mother of a craving.
I bet she can tell I'm about to scrape some wood shavings off my desk, roll up all my Post-Its and light up right here and now.
Hey, don't look at me bitch...YOU brought me the bloody coffee.
And we all know what black coffee does to a craving.
You did it on purpose you f*$#%(* c*#$. I'll get you for this in the dark of the night when you and your brood are sleeping. I'll use nail clippers to dig out all your internal organs, you sorry excuse for a human. I swear I will.

No, i'm not stressed.
What? I'm not!

But I will resist.
I nearly fainted at the gym yesterday because my lungs couldnt possibly have a single spot of pink left on them.
We had just done 20 mins of stretching and cardio when i realised that it was actually a Taebo class and that was just the warm-up.
Needless to say, I promply fainted.

But I'm determined.
I said I will resist.

Yes. I will.
I wont light up.
Noooo.
Cant have that.
Nopey nopes.
Stop it evil mindfuck, I wont give in
You want me to say please?
Ok Fine. Please stop it.
STOP IT!!!
Please?
No?






Fukkit.
I'm lighting up man.