The dead pope

The pope is dead. FINALLY! Don't get me wrong, i wasn't sitting around impatiently awaiting his demise, but there was an inevitablity about the outcome of the months (years?) of his illhealth.

If you watched CNN/BBC/Sky news during 48 hours leading up to his death you will understand what i'm talking about. "The pope's health is 'grave' ", "his electrocardiogram is flat", "the pope has flatlined!", "his liver and heart have failed"... then hours later "the pope's liver and heart have deteriorated" (how they deteriorated after they failed is anyone's guess).

The news coverage was a second by second account of the papal hearbeat, a rumour-driven live update of every failing organ. I wish my dying moments could be witnessed by millions of people wailing at the thought of my impending doom. On second thoughts...I'll pass. A nice eulogy after the fact will do just fine... "She was an inspiration to everyone she met, loved by the human race and a role model for all the world's people..." *sigh* oh well. I guess it just wasnt meant to be.

So what does the pope mean to me? About as much as the nice old flower guy down the street. That night, my mom wanted me to go to church. I wanted to go clubbing. Think about it, in the grand scheme of things, club or church, it really doesn't make any difference. The sun will still rise every morning, the old guy down the street will continue to sell his lillies, a giant asteroid still has a slim chance of colliding with earth in 2014, and yes - the pontiff will still be dead. So, to the club i went.

The pope was probably a really nice dude and quite a looker in his day, probably made lots of hopeful people feel better about their empty, pointless lives, but frankly he's about as divine and infallible as Bill Clinton. Although i concede he's probably a little more prudish. If you're reading this and your veins are still throbbing, almost popping out of your reddened and swollen eyes because you were weeping bucketloads for the pontiff, get a new hobby. I'm glad CNN has.

May he rest in peace.