Swearing. A necessary evil

Sometimes there’s no other way to say it.

There are times you find yourself in a situation that one or two choice words would have saved the day, and just as they are about to roll off your tongue you somehow manage to garner some self-restraint that would have amazed even your dead granny.

Perhaps you are deeply religious and would never swear lest the Lord smite you where you stand.
Perhaps you just never got into it because you didn’t grow up swearing and as you got older you only hung around clean-mouthed geeks.
Perhaps you express yourself eloquently because you were brought up like royalty.
Perhaps you’re just a freak.

Either way, you must have said shit if not FUCK, damn if not Godammit, dear lord if not JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!

And work doesn’t count coz everyone is sweeter than golden syrup at the office (except maybe the boss). I’m talking socially.

Which one of these are you?

He is not nice
vs
He is a sick bastard
vs
He is a fucking cokesnorting asswipe

What was my point? erm... i had a point? Ah yes, in conclusion ladies, gentlemen and the transgendered pansies of the fucked up cyberworld, my point was i dont swear. Never ever. And neither should you.

Comments

Paris

I must be missing something because I just don’t seem to get it. Try as I may to partake in the globally shared revulsion for Paris, I’m just not feeling it. I stumbled on yet another blog where the author feels the world would a better place if she was ‘shot into space and left there to die a slow and painful death’. So this begs the question: Why does everyone rag on Paris Hilton? - Could it be her sense of style? No she didint! Is that… *gasp*… the same dress she wore to that thing at that place last month!?! Not only is it REPEATED but also hopelessly OUTDATED! Holy MotherofGod, this must be the end of the world as we know it. So the fluorescent pink top does not go with the lime green mini skirt. Infact it couldn’t possibly go with any colour known to man. Boo-freaking-hoo. Let's line up the firing squad. - Maybe because she’s rich? Selfish bitch. Why didn’t she do the right thing and politely decline her inheritance: No thank you daddy. I would much rather spend my entire lif...

Life in the mad house

My Auntie dearest must have been suffering from temporary insanity when in a moment of weakness she agreed (!?!?!) to have every single cousin, second cousin, and cousin's friend we know (or don't know) come spend a week or two with us. This means I’m now sardined with 11 kids between the ages of 10 months and 14 years in a tiny three-bedroom apartment (four really, but one is used as a storeroom). There is always someone in the fridge and grocery shopping is a joke coz these kids throw down (eat) like there's no tomorrow. 8 baguettes, 6 litres of milk, 20 eggs. Every. Goddamned. Day. And that’s just breakfast. The crying, the biting, the fighting, the screeching - my ears have threatened to find a new body. So I get home from work, change into something more comfortable and just go loiter at a friend's till I know the little boogers are snoring in their beds. Yesterday, I came back after 11 and 10 of them were still awake, still running about and still fucking screec...

The dawn of a new era

Nah. Nothing that dramatic. Same ol' me will be doing the same ol' shit. Unless Monday is considered a 'new era'. Nevertheless, there will be one or two improvements around here. For one: Drumroll please, coz: TODAY IS THE DAY I QUIT SMOKING . Yup. Rip off the gas mask and take huge whiff of me as you hum to Kool & the Gang's " she's fresh she's so fresh ..." My fingers WILL twitch, I WILL develop a nervous jerk in withdrawal, but I WILL resist. To the 'quit somking' industry: if you think you're getting a penny off me with your pills, patches, sprays, gums etc, etc...you can pucker up coz you'll be meeting my ass. There's only 1 drug i need, and thats Determination. The reason I'm really driven to quit is i can see how its affecting my health. I used to be so active. I was an athlete. Ok i was 10 and won the potato sack race, but still, I was an athlete dammit. And now i can't even bend over to pick up something i d...

Divine Miscontent

Search This Blog