Skip to main content

Blah blah blah the sequel

I’m going through a dry spell here. My life is so dull right now, there’s absolutely NOTHING to blog about. I’ll post anyway, but I cannot guarantee your sanity by the time you are done with this mind numbing brain fart. Warning: Reading this post may lead to foaming at the mouth and/or reddened swollen eyes with throbbing veins in prominence, out of complete and utter boredom. Proceed at your own risk.

I had croissants and a yogi sip (drinkable yoghurt) for lunch today.
Tasted real yummy. But my tummy is now acting funny. I feel so crummy. It had probably expired on me. I'm such a dummy. I think I need my mummy.

My baby cousin took his first steps yesterday. They’ll be his last for a while. Fell flat on his face and lost a quarter of his teeth. Well, one tooth - he only had four.

Oooh ooh ooh since we are suing for fun: the USA doesn't want to sign the Kyoto protocol YET is probably responsible for 1/4 of the world's greenhouse gas emmisions. They are messing with MY ozone layer, hence making my scorching hot shithole town a lot hotter than usual. I want ONE TRILLION BILLION dollars in compensation thank you very much (clearly, unlike the crazy woman in the article, I couldn't careless about astrology or the lining of the planets or the rest of that New Age mumbo jumbo).

That time of the month again. The onset of PMS draweth nigh.
I wanna go to bed and wake up a guy. Minus the hair in every orifice, the adams apple, the morning stiffy, the responsibilities, the shaving every morning, the attention span of a goldfish, the one-track mind.....hmm....on second thoughts: I think I'll just stay a girl. I just wish that time of the month didnt have to come every single fucking month.

Comments

Bent Fabric said…
I am thinking that woman is Tom Cruise's soulmate.
7/07/2005 2:53 AM
Lyn said…
If she won, now that would be scary. Eveyone in the world would be entitled to some money and all lawsuit hell would break loose.
7/07/2005 7:05 AM
kyknoord said…
Well, you can always take a postponement on the PMS by getting pregnant, although frankly, I don't think the trade-off is worth it.
7/08/2005 7:59 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Paris

I must be missing something because I just don’t seem to get it. Try as I may to partake in the globally shared revulsion for Paris, I’m just not feeling it. I stumbled on yet another blog where the author feels the world would a better place if she was ‘shot into space and left there to die a slow and painful death’. So this begs the question: Why does everyone rag on Paris Hilton? - Could it be her sense of style? No she didint! Is that… *gasp*… the same dress she wore to that thing at that place last month!?! Not only is it REPEATED but also hopelessly OUTDATED! Holy MotherofGod, this must be the end of the world as we know it. So the fluorescent pink top does not go with the lime green mini skirt. Infact it couldn’t possibly go with any colour known to man. Boo-freaking-hoo. Let's line up the firing squad. - Maybe because she’s rich? Selfish bitch. Why didn’t she do the right thing and politely decline her inheritance: No thank you daddy. I would much rather spend my entire lif...
8 comments
Read more

Thgs Tht Ps Me Off But They Realy Shudnt Al Becz Im Nurotik n Mity Irationl Sumtims Espcialy Whn The PMS Sets In n I Hve a Frikn Rash i Cnt Get Rid Of

Nah, just kidding. About writing about things that piss me off I mean. There are just so many I wouldn’t know where to begin. But I wasn’t kidding about the PMS. Or the goddamn STD-looking rash. Anywayz, this is my last post. Lets just say one or two people got hold of this link and I feel that my writing has gotten severely compromised, defeating its original purpose as a forum to express my self-righteous indignation. Besides, i was begining to feel like I'm a modern day Narcissus. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I will never be a writer. But I’ll always be an avid reader, so to my fav bloggers - Bent, Carrie, Kykie - see ya’ll on your own turf. With that said, I’ll leave you all with these profound words of wisdom: Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (whatever is said in Latin sounds profound) Laterz.
13 comments
Read more

Life in the mad house

My Auntie dearest must have been suffering from temporary insanity when in a moment of weakness she agreed (!?!?!) to have every single cousin, second cousin, and cousin's friend we know (or don't know) come spend a week or two with us. This means I’m now sardined with 11 kids between the ages of 10 months and 14 years in a tiny three-bedroom apartment (four really, but one is used as a storeroom). There is always someone in the fridge and grocery shopping is a joke coz these kids throw down (eat) like there's no tomorrow. 8 baguettes, 6 litres of milk, 20 eggs. Every. Goddamned. Day. And that’s just breakfast. The crying, the biting, the fighting, the screeching - my ears have threatened to find a new body. So I get home from work, change into something more comfortable and just go loiter at a friend's till I know the little boogers are snoring in their beds. Yesterday, I came back after 11 and 10 of them were still awake, still running about and still fucking screec...
10 comments
Read more