Divine Miscontent

This is me AND I guess everyone does now. I might as well just put up my phone number and address while i'm at it. Don't ask me what was going on with my hair becuase I havent got a clue.

I cant believe i just typed out that title. Oouch. It makes me wince. Who says shit like that in this day age. Well, me, apparently. Wait...or was it 'the spice of life'? Anyway, had a point so I'll get to it. Music is so beautiful. I’m incredibly inspired right now and I don’t inspire easily. It gives you goosebumps, it makes you want to scream, it makes you want to laugh and it can make you dissolve into a pool of tears. It sounds better than the taste of chocolate ice cream, than the feel of satin sheets against your naked skin, than the smell of spring. What can I say; it’s just fucking beautiful. If love feels like how this song sounds right now I can understand why people lose their minds and get their brain washed, tumbled dried and handed back to them by the love of their lives. I’ve been listening to a couple U2 and Cranberries songs through my new headphones and paying special attention to the harmonies. I can’t sing for shit, so I’m awestruck when melodies just c...

Yet Another Monday. Mondays. They keep on comin’, don’t they? Week after week. What’s up with that? Stockholm now seems like a distant memory even though my luggage only actually appeared yesterday. Air France has this tendency of losing my luggage every single time. You’d think it was deliberate. I say burn ‘em down. Let them accidentally navigate themselves into the Eiffel Tower for all I care. South African Airways is the only way to fly: Once you go SAA, you’ll go no other way . Right. Clearly no one should trust me with their advertising campaign. Moving on… Me: Sweden was nice. Friend: Nice??? Did you say NICE??? Tea is nice! Summer is nice! The old lady down the street is nice ! Sweden? Fantabulastic! Me: Uh, ok. If you say so. Truth be told it was just an average trip. Nice to get away from the office, meet new people and visit a new city, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Its a little too dull for me. Just not enough action, and ya'll know I’m all about the action! Per...

You may (or not) have noticed I've been kinda scarce lately. That's because I've been out of my office the whole bloody week. I spent it traipsing across the country, doing meetings and stuff and feeling grossly inadequate. I wouldn't even know where to start recapping, or how to accurately describe the weirdness that was last week. So lets just say it involved strange little village towns, a flooded sub-standard motel room and picking up what was left of my ego and self esteem after tripping over some cables during a presentation. How on earth did I get this job? No seriously. I guess the real question is: How the fuck do I keep it???? In between shuffling my feet and picking my nose with this blank stare on my face that says "What? who, me? you were talking to me??" its a miracle i still come in day after day. I guess i must be doing something right. Or maybe i just know lots of people in high places. Two years ago I would've rolled around pissing myself...

My Auntie dearest must have been suffering from temporary insanity when in a moment of weakness she agreed (!?!?!) to have every single cousin, second cousin, and cousin's friend we know (or don't know) come spend a week or two with us. This means I’m now sardined with 11 kids between the ages of 10 months and 14 years in a tiny three-bedroom apartment (four really, but one is used as a storeroom). There is always someone in the fridge and grocery shopping is a joke coz these kids throw down (eat) like there's no tomorrow. 8 baguettes, 6 litres of milk, 20 eggs. Every. Goddamned. Day. And that’s just breakfast. The crying, the biting, the fighting, the screeching - my ears have threatened to find a new body. So I get home from work, change into something more comfortable and just go loiter at a friend's till I know the little boogers are snoring in their beds. Yesterday, I came back after 11 and 10 of them were still awake, still running about and still fucking screec...

I'll skip over my completely mediocre weekend which involved two guys trying to feel me up, at the same time I might add, no girl-on-girl (girl-on-me) action and a cat-sized rat (i said i wont go there). Anywayz, last nite i rediscovered a shooter i havent had since my varsity ( college for the Americans among you) days appropriately named "Women's Revenge". Its Amerula (Irish Cream) and some kind of lemonadey thing. Totally curdles in your mouth, a bit like how a blow job would taste. It makes you think eeeww/yum/puke! all at the same time. Moving on to this morning: I just learnt I'm going to Stockholm on a week long business trip next week Friday. My very first business trip . Sweeeeeet! Its going to be so cool just to repeat it... "So you wanna hang out on Friday?" "Love to but i cant" "Cmon why not, It'll be fun!" "I know, but I'll be in Sweden on a business trip" Then i'd heave a huge sigh like I've so...

TGIF - Thank God Its Friday Whoopiedoop!!! In my private universe, thinking is illegal on Fridays (and Mondays and Tuesdays and....) So brace yourself for some mindless banter... ********* What mischief will I get myself into this weekend? The "getting wasted and wondering how i made it into my bed" routine is so old. I think I'll stay in this weekend to contemplate my sins. Hahahaha. Right. ********* Gosh I could really use broadband at home. Heck, I'd settle for narrowband even. Any kind of band has got to be better than no band. ********* I've got this sneaking suspicion someone in my office is reading this blog. I'm getting hits from within this building. Michel - If its you reading this I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THIS INSTANT! OR ELSE... or else what?? Darn. TGIF. This Girl Is Fucked. If you read yesterday's post, you'd realise I dont mean literally. What to do. My blogging is severly compromised. If this is my last post, you know why: I was fired, ove...

Dibs. Interesting character that one. As it turns out, she knows i have the hots for her and goes to great lengths to let me know that she knows: the way she licks off the wine rolling down the side of her glass the way she holds my gaze till i look away the way she touches my thigh ever so gently when she's talking the way she giggles and says "oh stop it" when i say something silly god, what a tease. or perhaps its just that my senses are so heightened when i'm with her i think she is gay-curious. and i was happy to indulge her so... i walked her home we parked in front of the tv in the dark to sober up then i kissed her. the kind of kiss apparently made famous by the French. unless it was only a very nice dream, i believe she kissed me back still, somehow i ended up in my own bed. alone. I knew I should have shoved more of the Bailey's/white wine/that_weird_green_stuff down her throat. so, i have nothing left to do but resort to cheesy cliches: i may have lost ...

Today's title. Is that even a real word? Spell Checker doesn't think so. but what does Spell Checker know anyway dammit IS a word, dammit! Anywayz...i was going somewhere with this. Im pretty sure I had a point when i started out this post. A clear objective. Nah, who am i kidding. I didnt. Do i ever. I feel like Ellen the Forgetful Fish in Finding Nemo...what was her name again? You know the part....in the beginning, when she's showing Nemo's dad which way he went when she starts running away coz she thinks he's stalking her.... Consumerism... Where was i headed with this? Clearly I'm too lazy to actually write anything that makes sense today so.... I swiped this off these guys . (Please, please don't sue me!!! ) Some 'interesting' yet REAL consumer labels: Does that have anything to do with consumerism? Do I even care? On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ...