Divine Miscontent

Even if i was Out, no one seems good enough for me. Where are all the world's cool people? Where are all the funky uber awesome girlies? Is there like NO ONE out of Sydney or NY that is gay AND cool AND smart?? Is that like way too much to ask? You don't even have to be hot!! Ok, wait, i take that back...AND hot! Now, i know i'm doomed to a life of compromising and settling for second best because it seems what i want is not out there. And definitely not out here. Wait! Brainwave! What i want is ME. Ah yes. Me. If i saw me in a bar i'd be all over me in a flash. Only problem is I wouldn't know how to approach me and me would be too cool to approach I. So me and I would be flirting from afar, downing a few drinks desperately trying to get to that happy flirty mental zone. Like any other relationship we'd have our ups and downs, but because i'm so cool there will many more ups. I'm aloof, i'm independent i'm extreme, i'm funny, i'm weird, i...

ARRGGGGH!!! I JUST WANNA FUCKING SCREAM!!! FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKK! FUCK, I HATE THIS COUNTRY! I HATE MY LIFE!!! I wanna go to some island somewhere with a population of 45 where i'd be surrounded with hot baywatch chicks with brains to match the bods instead of sitting here in 30 degrees celcius day in day out, doing invoices and fucking crap while my boss jerks off next door and my dad fucking calls me everyday like i'm five years old. Fuck i hate my family, preaching about church and "you gotta have faith" ... well take your faith and shove it up your crack (erm..I still love you mom!). FUCK African tradditions like distributing your first salary and the fucking precise way it has to be done like i give a flying rats ass whether its better to buy congac or whiskey for the uncle i havent seen since i was 5. "No! You can't organise a dinner...thats not how things are done here, this is not Europe" DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE??? I hate the stoopid people m...

Gosh. Yesterday i finally realised how in the closet i was and if i didnt do anything about it (like leave town, or the country, or the planet...) I'd be miserable for the rest of my life. I was having lunch old with friends (ok, not quite friends, more like really good aquaintances) from my Christian boarding high school. I was looked at with shock and disgust like i was some kind of a unredeemable sinner simbly because I didnt bow my head in prayer before diving into my plate of spaghetti. Fine. I can live with that. I can stay away from people with tiny brains and a limited scope of the world and its people. But then, we started talking about homosexuality. I thought i'd seen disgust before? These girls were like they wouldnt even want to be on the same side of the street as a gay guy or girl. Not only is it against God's Will but totally unatural and despicable and you might as well fuck a duck or bang a gang while you're at it (ok they didnt actually say ALL of tha...

So this is me quietly going about my business...actually doing REAL work for a change in my nice naturally lit office, and the guys INSIST on walking by, but not before pausing to question me about my light, or rather, lack thereof . NO. I don't need you to switch on my light....and no, its not "totally dark in there", and i'm definitely not "trying to save the company a few pennies". I like it like this and i can see perfectly well thank you very much. Besides, that thing streaming in through the windows? Well its called SUNLIGHT. No Michel, I thought we went over this yesterday... Looky here Neil, why dont you run off to your little office and brighten up your own miserable world. Dude, not you too...fuck off already! You know, I really hate the fact that its company norm to keep your door open when you're in your office. I think I'm going to have to slam it in someone's face.

I'm feeling goddamn poetic So i'll have to rant and rave Like a fucking heretic Who God could never save His Kingdom i hope i miss Coz i hate his guts anyway For making me have to kiss His lame ass everyday The difference between us Is i dont care to whom u pray As long as u dont make a fuss When i decide to keep away All i want is freedom To do all that i please Without some twofaced evangelist Forcing me to my knees This poem just plain sucks. Lets try a limmerick instead guys, you wake up every day and your church asks you to say "Jesus my lover" over and over your god must be fucking gay

Ooh ooh ooooh! Got a new expat boss today. Actually we were pretty boss-less before he came in (we are a small branch of a huge multi-national company, all Managers in our own domain) so normally, the atmosphere is quite informal. He's been here like what? Five minutes? yet the mood is already somber. We just had one of those corporate talks where the boss establishes his authority by disscussing "where we are headed" frequently interjected by words like "deliverables" and "goals" and stuff. Sheesh. What ever happened to NORMAL working environments where you get to spend the hours chatting online, blogging and wistfully checking out the weather in Thailand???

Today i brushed my teeth. Like I do every morning. Ok, just lost about half of my 0 readers right there. 0/2 = 0 so i guess i'm no worse off. Fuck my job is boring! Not like i'd go home and be more entertained. Spent last nite watching TV with my Aunt. Watching erm .... white ... no wait grey ... no ... its black! smoke errupt from the vatican. Rivetting viewing. But thank god my baby cousin's shrieking stepped right in to save the day and provide me with an alternative distraction. The cutest thing you've ever seen but boy-oh-boy does he have one hell of shriek! Ah, can't wait to go home for another thrilling evening with the family. I think I need to move out. NOW. If nothing else, at least then i'd have dibs on the TV remote.