Wishlist

Bear with me, but I have to play the poor miserable girl from Africa card. How else am I going to get what I want? So here goes:

I am a minority in at least a hundred different ways.
I'm possibly in a special subset of my own: I'm black, female, gay, agnostic (secular humanist) and a paraplegic geek. Ok, I’ll level with you; I’m not really paraplegic. I guess I should be grateful that I’m not handicapped physically or mentally, although my mental capacity is debatable. But with the all whining about unequal rights that goes around these days there MUST be something I could join the bitching posse and be outraged and up in arms about.

I should be walking around with a huge chip on my shoulder and I should be feeling marginalised, misrepresented, discriminated against, disempowered, disadvantaged, disenfranchised and a whole lot of dis-whathaveyous.

But I’ve been pretty fortunate in my life and I’ve had very little to complain about. I’ve never felt the sharp sting of rejection, never felt discriminated against because of the colour of my skin…I’ve accepted that in this part of the world queer folk will NEVER have the same rights as the heteros, or ANY rights for that matter, in fact we should feel really lucky if we are not shot on sight. So in that respect I don’t even feel discriminated against because it is a liberty I cannot even dare to dream about. There will always be things that about me that make my parents wonder where they went wrong. The universe will keep on bursting at the seams with people with tiny chicken brains with a limited scope of the world and its people.

Fortunately, I decided long ago [not to walk in anyone’s shadow…- Sorry, Whitney Houston moment there] that the only way for me to keep my sanity is to not let anything penetrate my tough exterior. So as it turns out I really don’t feel disadvantaged in any way. But for the sake of my wishlist, lets play pretend.

Lets pretend I have experienced some great social injustice.
Lets pretend I am deeply traumatised by the fact that I will never be allowed to get married, at least, not to another woman.
Lets pretend I’m outraged by the fact that I have to swear on a Bible I don't believe in if I ever have to testify.
Lets pretend that you care about any of this.

So I hereby present you with my wishlist - the worldly desires of a poor disadvantaged little girl woman from Africa. I can provide pictures of starving kids if that would help set the scene...
All I ask is that you empathize in cash or kind:
Cash

• Any amount you can spare, but I'm partial to bills. Big bills.

Kind

• Friends DVD - The One With All 10 Seasons
• L Word Season 1 and 2 DVDs – I have only ever seen one episode (the episode where Tina finds out that Bette cheated on her and they end up in some weird bitch fight/fucked up love session) and downloaded most of the teasers off sho.com.
• An all expense paid trip to watch Manchester United kick Chelsea’s ass in a premiership match.

See, I don’t ask for much.
I'm too lazy to go through the process of setting-up a paypal account.
It’s easy, but like I said I'm too lazy. But I'm still one step ahead of those with placards - I've got a Blog. Now, if that isn’t A for aeffort, I don’t know what is.
So if you want to donate let me know. It’s for a charitable cause...indoctrinating me in the exclusive world of dykes (thanks to the L Word DVDs you will graciously donate to my cause) and commiserating with me and my unique minority status.

Remember Karma - you reap what you sow (FYI - I believe Jesus may have said something similar).
(Breaking into song:)
So sow. Sow away.
And you'll reap great rewards one day.