I knight you ma'am and dub thee Your Highness

Long time no blog...

Theres been lots of stuff happenin but I just couldnt be bothered to talk about it right now.
But I will bother to talk about this:
We had a MAJOR virus attack since Wednesday. Affected all my company's offices across the entire sub saharan africa. Computers were freezing and shutting down all over the world. Well, my company's world at least.

BUT I.
YES I.
Single handedly located the culprit file...and killed it: libsys32.exe
Makes your PC shutdown after 60 secs. Well apparently the solution was found somewhere in Sweden 24 hrs after its first occurence and the patch disseminated throughout the company but since we are only a tiny subsidiary office doing nothing to annual global sales figures nobody bothered to inform us.
Anyway, still. Take NOTHING away from me.
I FOUND IT.
A raise would do nicely thank you very much.
A few extra zeroes for yet another nobel prize worthy performance.
I'm too good for this job.
Although i still can't sell for shit.

Ok.
I think i've blown my trumpet long enough.
I'll let someone else blow it now.

BTW: If your ISP is rr.com leave a message or fuck the fuck off.
Its either a bot or an overenthusiastic fan spamming my hit counter.

Random Brain Fart: Lion - lioness, heir - heiress, highness - highnessness?

All in a day’s work

Ah, another exciting day at the office. Mondays. Don’t you just love them? They are the cherry on top of what was just starting to be a lovely weekend. Oh, how I look forward to Monday morning meetings. Just spent the last 2 hours in one of those delightful beginning of the week reunions with my wonderful co-workers. I just luuuv Mondays for the emails that greet you as you login. Truly a sight for sore eyes. You look though the list of 30 emails that somehow appeared in your inbox although it was weekend and people should have been at home making sweet sweet luv to their wives, wiping the snot off their baby's nose or being walked by the dog. But noo…they at work on Sunday ensuring that I get reminded of that proposal I promised to send as soon as I stepped into the office on Monday. But still, being remembered on a Sunday…even God doesn’t get that treatment these days…how special I must be.

And as soon as I manage to get though the pile of lovely weekend thoughts, I get a reminder that I have a teleconf with the nice gentleman from Indonesia that nobody can understand a word he says between his heavy accent and the crackling bad quality line. But we don’t care do we? We are just thrilled to hear his beautiful monotone voice spewing out a host of three letter acronyms…Did he say SPT? Or was it XBD? Who really cares anyway since neither one makes any sense to me…another reminder of why I should have taken that long overdue wonderfully entertaining 10-hour online course.

And of course what will a day at the office be without the guy STILL repairing/cleaning the building’s air-conditioning. Somehow in order to repair or clean or whatever he’s been doing for the last 2 wks he has to set it to 18 degrees. But as we all know, that’s the best way to get real work done– while your teeth ch-ch-chatter and your ni-ni-nipples harden. Oh, I’m lovin’ it.

And then there’s the really intelligent Tea Lady. I just love the way you can tell her things once and she immediately gets it. At least until the next day when you have to tell her again. Like please don’t leave the cups in the bathroom sink. I really don’t care much to get served in cup after someone washed their hands over it, even though I’m sure just after using the toilet they must have been impeccably clean.

It's that time of the year for our client’s budget planning against next year. I love the way they call me up at 11 and demand a budgetary quote before their meeting just after lunch. How did they know I hate to go for lunch? How could they possibly have known that I was taking a quick snooze waiting for my phone to ring so I could serve their every whim?

As I step out of my office to go to the client premises I am greeted with God's most precious gift to man - Water. After a week of non-stop rain, as a testament of the brilliant drainage planning by the city council, the streets of the city centre are now completely flooded ensuring that there is no need to make long and tiresome trips to the beach since you can just step out onto your front porch – or what’s left of it - and leisurely swim to your destination.

And finally, there’s always that colleague…that one “special” co-worker that leaves you in awe of your company’s hiring capabilities. How did they find such a rare gem because he's truly something special. Whenever you say something, he just stares at you with this empty look that surely must be hiding and infinite amount of wisdom behind that blank stare. But you have to admire the insight of the HR department to see the qualities that you simple labourer cannot. Like that course we did together overviewing the new SAP ordering system. He comes to your desk to ask how you save the changes and you tell him to click the big button with the green tick and “SAVE” written on it. You're left with a mouth gaping in amazement at the way his brain works. Surely he faltered because he saw hidden symbolisms behind the save button that you mere mortal cannot wrap your brain around. And I wonder what I did to be deserving of being employed amongst such sheer genius.

So you see, I really love my job. There are so many great things about a Monday morning at my office that I cherish and am eternally grateful for.

SSDD

i’ve been feeling kinda down
for the last couple of days
and although I never frown
this is a depressing phase

i know i’m not the first
to go through a bad patch
yet I feel I must be cursed
but its nothing you can catch

there is nothing to live for
is the way it seems to me
life's a major freaking bore
with only work and TV

i know exactly what is wrong
but there’s nothing I can do
short of sucking on a bong
and popping a few pills too

Same Shit Different Day
is what I’m suffering from
life’s a million shades of grey
just a series of humdrum

i figured if I died
this feeling would go away
coz I’m really sick and tired
of going through this every day

so why not end it all
i ask myself today
why not walk to the edge and fall
the voice in my head seems to say

she’s never going to do it
you’re probably starting to think
true, my dad would have a fit
but I still need to see a shrink

because the way things are looking
even if I survive the week
soon of death I will be thinking
if my future remains this bleak

i’ve got lots of things to say
about why I feel so sad
but that’s a story for another day
coz this rhyming is fucking bad

the hole i'm in seems deep
but i hope that in the morning
i'll rouse up from my sleep
to a beautiful day a-dawning

I just don't feel like blogging