Shoot me please

I've made two major blunders today. Okay, one major the other minor.

The first was at a workshop this morning. The Chief Technical Officer of the ...what’s the word (we are the supplier - they are the? supplyee?)... recipient company of the stuff we sell...was making a presentation when he realised what he had just said was slightly inaccurate so right in the middle of the sentence he just yelled out "hold your horses, I'm a lying thief!". Man, I couldn't help it - I just burst out into incontrollable spasms of laughter right there in the middle of the presentation with my boss staring me down as if to say "get a grip woman". These people have zero sense of humour. How could you not find that funny? The only other person who joined in with a covert giggle was this guy Michel, who I really like because he's like me in so many ways. Anyway, if I wasn’t dark, I'm sure I’d have been a bright shade of red...

The MAJOR booboo was an incident with a certain colleague. She creates invoices for us, except given the multinational nature of my company she's physically located on the other side of the world and we communicate almost entirely by email. The email system goes down and people actually go home because of how much we rely on it to get any work done.

So I’ve been asking her to generate invoices for some work we have completed for the supplyee company. She ignores my emails then quite out of the blue asks if she can invoice something completely irrelevant. To cut a long story short, a series of mails were exchanged between her (wining as usual) my boss (telling her to not take things personally) and another colleague while I just looked on with mild amusement because I’m the only person who knows the full story and the extent of her insanity. I started composing a reasonable email to highlight the whole invoicing mix-up in a reproachful but suitably professional manner when I got caught up in my own profound irritation for her and started to write down exactly what I really wanted to say. The worst part is I actually accidentally sent it:

Hi H...,

I’ve asked you REPEATEDLY to raise specific invoices. I say, you invoice. That’s how it works. But nooooo. You are involved in your own personal agenda and ask me if you can raise invoices that are not relevant at the moment, just because YOU think they are invoiceable. You are not reachable by phone, fax, email or telepathy. I'm not the only person with this problem. Ask ANYONE who has worked with you. Everyone just shakes their head and mutters, 'that woman is mad' at the utterance of your name. I realise you are busy, but don't mystify the whole process like it’s a big deal to insert a PO number and click a button that says 'generate invoice' - yes I do happen to know how its done. Now please pull the rod out of your behind and kindly send me my invoice.

Best Regards,
Lyn

So I guess I’m going to clean out my desk now and not expect any compensation.
Except she is so irritating my boss might even be mildly amused.
Anyway, I immediately called her up (dropped a voicemail and sent more emails) and told her I didn’t mean to send it and such...
Its a moments like this I wonder if I’m really a normal.